Dating, Love, Sex-part 2

We don't like boundaries. I guess it's sort of a "human nature" kinda thing. We don't like to be told what to do and what not to do. Maybe it's arrogance, or pride...or maybe just plain o' stubborness. But we humans definitely do NOT like restrictions being placed on us. Unfortunately, we need boundaries. Actually we need them very badly. Maybe we just need to change the way view boundaries...

I've noticed people tend to fall into two different categories when it comes to thinking about boundaries. Many people view boundaries like this...

Unfortunately, when a lot of people think of Christianity, this is the image they get...a prison cell that we are locked inside of. God won't let us out and His entire purpose is to keep us from experiencing anything fun or enjoyable. We are locked away from life and there's no getting out. Pretty dismal state of existance. Thankfully, this is NOT what God has intended for any of us. Let me show you a different type of boundary...

This is a picture of the mesosphere. The mesosphere is one of the layers of our earth's atmosphere. Compared to the others, it's actually a fairly thin layer. It's about 50 miles above the surface of the earth and it sits at about -150 degrees F (which means I would be very comfortable there). If we were to jump into a rocket ship (which would be really cool by the way...) and took off for outerspace, it's sort of the "in-between layer" as we would leave the earth's atmosphere and just start to enter space. But the mesosphere serves a really important purpose. First of all, it serves as sort of a filter for the sun's UV rays. People like me (who have fair skin and red hair) are very thankful for the mesosphere because without it, we would look like a bunch of giant fried chicken legs running around all the time (there's an image you didn't plan to see in your head today I'm guessing). Anyway, it keeps the UV rays of the sun from burning down full force on the earth. But even more importantly than that, it keeps the earth (and us) from being pounded into a pulp. Experts tell us that around 40 tons of meteors enter our atmosphere every single day. That's a lot. And as these meteors hurl towards the earth and enter the mesosphere, the gases that are there cause lots of friction...which burns up the meteors and keeps them from ever actually striking the earth. Oh a few every now and then get through...we call them shooting stars and they eventually burn up anyway before they hit the earth. But the mesosphere protects us in a major way from being burned up and getting the crud beat out of us. I've discovered I'm thankful for the mesosphere.

What does this have to do with Love, Dating & Sex? Well God has put boundaries in place for us concerning sex. And these boundaries are not a giant prison cell that keeps us locked up from enjoying life and doing anything fun. These boundaries are more like the mesosphere...they protect us in a major way.

God tells us all throughout the Bible that ANY sex outside of marriage is sin (regardless of age by the way...you're not off the hook if you're an "adult".) That's a boundary. And its a boundary that He put in place to protect us. God knows us very well (He should...He built us) and He knows that if left to ourselves, we very rarely make wise decisions...especially when it comes to something as tempting as sexual activity. He also knows all of the pain and guilt that come from sex outside of marriage...not to mention the possibility of STD's and unplanned pregnancies. He understands the consequences WAY better than any of us do. He knows the painful consequences of sex outside of marriage and because He loves us so much, He wants to keep us from experiencing that pain. So He established boundaries...a huge mesosphere to keep us from getting pummeled.

So if God establishes boundaries for us...and we are supposed to imitate Him as Christians...wouldn't it be wise to estblish personal boundaries for dating? If we claim we don't need them, we can be described by only one word...stupid. We all need them. So here are some thoughts to help us establish some dating boundaries:

• Putting our trust completely in ourselves is unwise
  
• "Alone" removes self-restraint--Self-restraint is usually good


• We were built to need accountability


• Boundaries are easier to abide by if everyone involved understands them


• Boundaries are only effective if we commit to them whole-heartedly

So with that, here are some dating boundaries that our high school students came up with...

1. Make sure you only date Christians who share the same convictions and morals that you do.


2. Don't date alone.


3. Don't end up in a house with your date with no one else home.


4. Establish conservative physical intimacy boundaries.


5. Talk about those physical boundaries with your girlfriend/boyfriend ahead of time.


6. Establish an accountability partner who will ask you often about the temptations you face while dating and how you dealt with those temptations.


7. Have a proper attitude towards dating (keeping my future marriage in mind and the fact that I and my date are both temples of the Holy Spirit).
   

Pretty wise for a bunch of high school kids if you ask me. Dating is an exciting part of being in high school. But it also holds so much potential for long-term consequences of bad choices. We have to take it seriously and we MUST establish boundaries as we date in high school...otherwise we might end up looking like giant friend chicken legs running around...

Hope to talk with you next time. Thanks for reading...

--Bob